Late diagnosis here (38 when diagnosed, now 42)… I agree with everything you said. I had an amazing set of systems and coping mechanisms in place to get through life without realizing I was playing the game on hard mode. In retrospect, the signs were all there my whole life but I just hadn’t had the realization.
Now that I’m medicated (methylphenidate), I still lean on those systems but they serve me very very well. I remember details much better than I did, but don’t always remember them long-term. The note taking system and habit that I developed years ago is now… supercharged because I am so much better about keeping good notes.
On the coffee/meds thing, I agree. I don’t get a buzz from the medication the way I do from coffee, but before my diagnosis I was drinking a ridiculous amount of coffee every day just to stay focused, with the associated buzz and jitters. I still have a cup or two of coffee in the morning, but drinking anywhere near as much as I used to is pretty much unbearable.