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I've been a professional java dev for a decade. I've written a little python, clojure, lots of JS/TS/Node.

SQL is the most beautiful, expressive, get stuff done language I've used.

It is perfect for whatever data engineering is defined as.

SQL is beautiful when it works but when it doesn’t you end up with some abomination eg if you need some kind dynamic query.

The two most helpful things with SQL are (1) always use set-based operations (never a cursor) and (2) break up your queries into smallest possible reusable chunks (CTEs). Sprinkle in tests to taste. Without some discipline SQL can get out of hand. This is what made dbt popular.

Can you share more detail? Every pain point I've seen can be handled by a more suitable/performant/flexible DB and/or software that makes working with SQL less painful.

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