> You don't care how expensive and complicated it is to repair and maintain your mountain bike (especially if you plan to eat gravel a lot)?

I have 3 bicycles at the moment and use one as my main way of buying groceries.

My ideal bicycle ownership experience is: I change the brake fluid every few years, I spray the chain whenever I remember to, I change tires and brake pads when they wear out, and I never, ever have to do any other maintenance.

I don't care about the bicycle itself, I care about what the bicycle lets me do.