Hacker News Reader

Comment by throwaway22032 | Hacker News Reader

throwaway22032

The whole stranger danger thing in my view as an adult feels like a downward spiral. It's not like this in many countries.

In the UK it's kind of like - kids don't wander about alone because they might run into baddies, and now adults are afraid to interact with kids because they might be seen as a baddy, and this kind of loops around until no-one is interacting.

Basically, it's like any adult man is seen as a potential child predator, when in reality it's some tiny tiny fraction and in an ideal world we would be able to assume that they get sectioned / locked up quickly so we don't have to worry about it.

Meanwhile I can travel around many parts of Asia, for example, and parents and children alike have no issue interacting with strangers.

View on HN

I was at a gathering of distant relatives I had never met before. I struck up a conversation with the 15-year old daughter of a cousin whose aunt came running on up with a stern look on her face that made me feel like she thought I was a child molester.

That this was a family gathering I was invited to for honoring my close relative who passed away just made me very sad.

Unfortunately it's not a tiny, tiny fraction. I thought this too once then looked up the stats.

It's horrifying when you find out. It's 1 in 20 children get sexually abused in the UK at the moment for example, and we have loads of checks and safe guards.

And waiting until they get sectioned/locked up, that means someone else has to suffer potentially life-long trauma.

That sexual abuse is overwhelmingly from family and trusted family friends, not from strangers.

In the UK, about 5% of children have been sexually abused. Nobody wants to risk that happening to their children and it's mostly perpetrated by people known to the children, so trust is understandably at an all time low.

But since it's mostly by people close to the children, the fear of the stranger is not justified.

Right, but parents don't trust anyone in the community, so stranger danger teaches kids to avoid any adults outside the immediate family and it's not unwarranted. For every Madeline McCann, there are literally millions of children abused.

now adults are afraid to interact with kids because they might be seen as a baddy

This only applies to men though, as if all men are predators by default. There are cases where a single adult man was refused entry into a park, mom calling the cops on a single adult man in a park who was minding his own business etc. As you pointed out, this doesn't seem like an issue in Asia, at least not yet.

No wonder men do not want to become teachers. Why risk your freedom, reputation?

I'd blame the media (especially right wing media) whose entire business model is fear mongering about everything/everyone

Reply on news.ycombinator.com