“You don’t see me as a member of your specific ethnic group because I’m genealogically not” and “you don’t see me as a member or citizen of your country because we’re not genealogically the same” are not the same thing, and it’s deeply (and intentionally) dishonest to pretend they are.

Being an American, for instance, should not exclude anyone who wants to be a part of the group, and the only folks suggesting it should typically have one or two groups they specifically want excluded. That is obviously not all right, however much you’d like it normalized.