I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but by asking this question you sound like you aren't a programmer but rather somebody that wants to go to rent-a-coder and have somebody build 'the next facebook'.
Longer answer:
* Scaling and performance is mostly an issue of architecture, and is heavily dependent on what you're trying to accomplish. You can go a long way just by using varnish/nginx/memcached as appropriate, and serving static assets from a CDN. The actual language is sort of a sideshow, because no language is fast enough; everything needs to be pre-calculate and cached.
* If you don't know either language, you'll probably find that Ruby is easier to learn and become productive with, but it's easier/cheaper to find good PHP developers. Kind of a wash. In either case, you will absolutely need to pick and learn a framework as well, which adds more overhead. (No, you aren't going to write a social networking app in PHP without a framework.)
* It's easier to get a basic PHP page hosted, but if you're even thinking about scalability and performance, then you need more than Bob's Discount Hosting. Doing PHP hosting right is no easier (or harder) than doing Ruby hosting right.
Basically, it doesn't much matter. At the end of the day, most (not all) programmers who have programmed in both detest PHP and love Ruby, and you'll probably find it easier to hire PHP devs.
I'm not saying that Ruby is better or PHP is better, it really depends on your ability with the two, but from what I have found in the past, PHP has been easier to scale and has performed well, it is also more widely hosted, though this is really irrelevant as there are still plenty of ruby hosts.
Support for PHP is generally better as it has a larger user-base but generally Google is your friend either way.
You should make the decision based on personal preferences, for instance, I find Ruby much more fun to write, but I can't stand debugging it, whereas I have used PHP for so long that now, those stupidly bad error messages are actually a native language to me.
I have developed in all php, ruby, python and my personal favorite is Python/Django or Python/Flask.
If you want to use any 3rd party api e.g., Facebook API make sure it has official SDK for language you choose.
Though, the crypto packages on CI could definitely use an upgrade.
- familiarity with the language - wide support and hosted everywhere - not restricted by Rails 'norms' - easier to get up and running on a live server, even if it's your own virtual box - proven scalability - personally not mad on ActiveRecord (Rails way of interacting with DB). Would rather have greater control over my DB interactions, which I know is possible in Rails but it's very non-standard
Ruby IMHO is a far superior language to PHP, but you will have to learn a framework to get it up and running on the web, whether it's Rails, Sinatra or something else. Same with Python. PHP doesn't require a framework, although plenty exist, so it'll be easier to get an initial prototype up and running.
If Ruby, RoR should be the first choice I guess. You may also want to consider Sinatra.
If you're outsourcing the development then you shouldn't be concerned about which language is used. You should be looking for a team of developers who know what they're doing and have experience building systems similar to yours.
Performance and scalability shouldn't be factors when choosing a language, either. Good caching and a delivery network like Akamai or CloudFlare will be more than enough for most large websites. I work on several large (100k+ visitors/day) websites that run on PHP - we get by just fine by caching the hell out of everything on multiple levels (web server, traffic manager, Akamai).
My advice is to focus on the end product, not the implementation. Don't get caught up in which technologies to use, or you will lose sight of what you want to create.
Also I would recommend that you take a serious look at python. My personal preferences puts java at the bottom of the list and PHP above that but below python and ruby (I'm a ROR developer by the way).
If you know neither, try both of them for a short while and see which one you like better. It's really a 'what do you like better: apples or oranges' kind of question.
And read this - http://www.ruby-forum.com/topic/1119702
On the PHP bit, I've done a fair amount of PHP work, but am trying to avoid it for the following reasons: http://me.veekun.com/blog/2012/04/09/php-a-fractal-of-bad-de...
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For me in Russia answer is definitely PHP, Ruby guys are rare and expensive here :)
Neither
Do some research and find which one works best for the product you envision building. If they both sound like a good fit, go with whatever one you can get help with more easily, since you mention (in the comments) you're not a programmer.
I am no Ruby-ist but I am sure Ruby is not that bad that you will have troubles scaling. You just have to understand how to scale and you can use either PHP or Ruby to apply the general concepts of scalability.
Example: see what they have to offer as open source. Still quite a bit of Ruby: http://twitter.github.com
I hate to say "It depends", but sometimes it really does.
Second choice Ruby without a second of doubt.