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Java is a DSL for taking large XML files and converting them to stack traces.

A Soviet moving castle made from Volkswagen Beetles

e: (my only real experience with java is spring boot)

Just look at the Java installer: What is Java? Java is everywhere!

A Toyota Corolla where you have to import 1000 parts with hideously long names in order to get it running every day.

even back when i didnt do scala, i used an IDE to fully automate this. By far the least annoying part of the system.

Do tell, what were the more annoying parts of the system?

A John Deere tractor used by mega farms.