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seems like they could turn this into a lucrative side hustle "super premium secret support" embrace the technofascist feudalism!

That's actually how a lot of laptop and phone schematics and related repair information gets leaked.

Next level epic is hand your resignation letter right after you get unbanned. "My job here is done."

And then banned again the next day.

Yes, but now they have free bananas

tbh you could probably easily have enough gripes with Epic to do this too... but then you'd have to move to Wisconsin.

At least their headquarters are cool