Comment by DanielVZ | Hacker News Reader

Comment by DanielVZ | Hacker News Reader

I once had a friend that was cancelled by an ex-girlfriend for petty and political reasons. I knew it was false because I had been present in most of the situations she described to cancel him and her story was full of lies. She was also a distant friend and her only comment was “I know why I do what I do”, which was pretty weird.

My friend was devastated, he had to stop going to his classes and feared that nobody would hire him, professors would hate him (since students already did), and that his life had ended. I spoke with him and assured him that wasn’t the case but to be honest I wasn’t sure either.

I don’t know the details but one year later she was suspended for a year for falsely accusing him, my friend graduated and promptly found a job.

All this to say I’m awfully scared now of the risk of my interactions with women being used in the future as a false narrative to cancel me. I’m happily married and due to life stuff I do have to interact with young girls and women. Because of this I try to be as distant as I can and limit any interaction that doesn’t involve multiple other adults.

I learnt that even if you do nothing wrong you can always be at risk, so I just try to minimize that risk as much as I possibly can.

> All this to say I’m awfully scared now of the risk of my interactions with women being used in the future as a false narrative to cancel me.

Maybe just keep a war chest and slam them with a bunch of lawsuits if they get annoying. Or at least, that's how the professional bullshitters like Trump solve this problem

How can "political reasons" be false? I can imagine a lot of political reasons for a woman to "cancel" a man, especially if they're misogynist, racist, xenophobic, homophobic, or transphobic, but the vagueness of your anecdote is suspect.

> I don’t know the details but [...]

> I learnt that even if you do nothing wrong you can always be at risk, so I just try to minimize that risk as much as I possibly can.

I'm sorry to hear that you've seemingly adapted your life based on someone else's "petty" experience with an ex-girlfriend, as you put it. Do you feel that this is a healthy and realistic way to live, though? Do you drive a car, walk around your neighborhood, or eat meat?

Depending on what kind of person you are, there are plenty more serious and realistic risks that getting randomly cancelled by your social circle.

> How can "political reasons" be false? I can imagine a lot of political reasons for a woman to "cancel" a man, especially if they're misogynist, racist, xenophobic, homophobic, or transphobic, but the vagueness of your anecdote is suspect.

What was false were the claims and I can say that because I was involved in the situations she described to cancel him.

I said “petty political reasons” as a summary for conciseness sake. But if you want more details:

- after they broke up she joined a certain left wing political party (student federation elections are a big deal here)

- during the election cycle my friend was part of the opposing team and they were doing quite well

- so the girl was approached by her party leadership to cancel him. They had this whole “cancel the opposition” operation

- Turns out everything was false and was done to benefit the left wing candidates and end the candidacy of the opposing party. which worked. They had to take down their candidacy to deal with all the problems that come from being cancelled.

> Depending on what kind of person you are, there are plenty more serious and realistic risks that getting randomly cancelled by your social circle.

I’m not so sure about that. Being cancelled is pretty serious, and quite risky. I’ve seen it quite a few times (this one being the closest I’ve been to people involved), and it’s so easy to avoid that I prefer to just do it. For example if I could avoid driving a car I would, but I do it because otherwise it is prohibitively expensive time wise.

“Opposite” of a “certain left wing political party” sounds not at all dissimilar to the reactionary extremist right wing folks here in the US with the only cohesive policy element of “own the libs”. They too suffer from a significantly higher rate of being cancelled. In fact, your story reminds me a bit of the Clinton scandals and the first Trump election. How does the saying go? Lie down with dogs and get up with fleas?

Not to digress, but really, if you’re not involved with politics and you’re not espousing hatred towards people, your risk of getting cancelled is truly and realistically low. But if you’re not talking to roughly half of the entire population because of that incident, visit a therapist. You’re missing out on some great connections.

Every time.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thought-terminating_clich%C3%A...

I just want to double-check. Is your contention that being right wing is sufficient justification to lie in order to destroy someone’s reputation? I have no love for the right wing but that’s a morally repugnant stance, id it is indeed the stance you’re taking.

It’s an extremist stance. Specially considering that this is not US politics where left wing is generally just right wing and at most center. If I had to describe these parties in US political landscape it would be something like Bernie sanders left wing vs Joe Biden right wing.

Nah it’s just that the anecdote doesn’t sound like the whole truth and your reaction seems irrational and exaggerated.

If you have good character, you shouldn’t be concerned.

No, no need to lie and no justification for it. The story sounds… odd to say the least.

If people wanna get upset about other people’s college drama and avoid women, sure I guess that’s their prerogative.

But in the context of US politics, most Trump voters do hold views that are socially damning and generally fall under the umbrella of hate towards someone that’s not a straight white cisgender christian man. An official government account made a post using 14 words with two H’s capitalized, an unmistakeable neo-Nazi reference, in the last month. So no, there should be no respect for people that continue to embrace this Project 2025 dystopian bullshit. Still, lies aren’t justified.

Telling people the truth about themselves cannot destroy someone's reputation - rather, they destroy their own reputation.

People "cancel" those on the Right because the Right constantly proposes laws that directly, and indisputably, harm them.

I don't want to be friends with Republicans not because I'm bitter or mean - but because I'm just not friends with people who wish me harm. That's not what a friendly person does.

Now, if you lie, that's a different story. But you don't need to lie to destroy someone's reputation. For most republican voters, you can just tell the truth.

But, if you find the notion of the truth a threat, you require serious introspection. I've seen many, many men on online dating apps hide their political affiliation or outright lie.

You would think they would want someone that likes them, no? It's all very strange. They should reassess what kind of person they want to be.

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