I remember the time they were cracking down because I had entered 90%+ of the tickets into the ticket system (the product manager didn't write tickets) and told me that "every ticket has to explain why it is good for the end user".

I put it in a ticket to speed up the 40 minutes build and was asked "How does this benefit the end user?" and I said "The end user would have had the product six months ago if the build was faster."

These days metrics are so ubiquitous that many internal back-end systems have SLAs for tail latencies as well.

Yeah, this was an attempt at humor. But it is quite easy to misunderstand the title.