I have always used Debian / Ubuntu because I started with my server using them and have wanted to keep the same tech stack between server and desktop - and they have a large repository ecosystem. But the fragmentation and often times byzantine layout is really starting to grind my gears. I sometimes find a couple overlapping packages installed, and it requires research and testing to figure out which one has priority (mainly networking...).
Certainly, there is no perfect answer. I am just trying to discover which ones come close.