Gas fees on Ethereum L2s like Base cost $0.0016 to send USDC, and $0.00064 to send ETH.
Itch could update the prices pegged to BTC or ETH, yes, but they'd either want to keep them, or liquidate them to USD, in which case there is risk of fluctuation between when the token is sent, and when it's liquidated.
1. Regulate the payment processors. This would need widespread agreement and some kind of global initiative—possible, but sounds like a LOONG process.
2. Invent an open payment technology that isn't crypto. Probably the most desirable outcome, but another LOONG process.
3. Bow down to the payment processor mafia. Sadly, this is where we exist; I think it's the worst possible option. Imagine what else we may be prevented from buying in future. Cash is becoming harder and harder to spend in the real world. First, they came for our porn; why wouldn't they come for our food, eventually?