> im using proxmox but struggling to setup subnets and vms
That is a pretty broad target. I would say start by setting up an opnsense vm, from there you can do very little to start, just lock down your network so you can work in peace. But it can control your subnet traffic, host your tailscale, dchp server, and adguard home, etc.
As somebody who was quite used to hosting my own servers, before I first set up my homelab I thought proxmox would be the heart of it. Actually opnsense is the heart of the network, proxmox is much more in the background.
I think proxmox + opnsense is great tech and you should not be adding in terraform and ansible, but I am not sure that using cursor is helping you. You need a really good grasp of what is going on if your entire digital life is going to be controlled centrally. I would lean heavily on the proxmox tutorials and forums, and even more on the opnsense tutorials and forums. Using cursor for less important things afterwards, or to clarify a fine point every once in a while would make more sense.