A.I. Is About to Solve Loneliness. That's a Problem | Hacker News Reader

A.I. Is About to Solve Loneliness. That's a Problem

newyorker.com

8 pointspetethomas13 comments

We keep trying to use tech to fix people and community problems, instead of giving people what they need: time and opportunity to connect with other people to build community.

https://www.cnn.com/2025/01/07/health/surgeon-general-partin...

Problem here is that loneliness and breakdown of social connection impacts people with plenty of time and money in the heaviest ways. Poor people at least go to work (because their work is not a bullshit work - they actually do shit there - it is not remote). At work, they socialise. Cash or free time probably worsens the problem rather than solves it.

I haven't read the article (and would prefer not to experience both the site and the writing) but I would guess what the author means is that getting rid of loneliness will remove people's drive to avoid being alone.

Frankly I think it's fine. PR and marketing people have put a lot of effort into making people anxious about this when the reality is that socializing in a late stage imperial society tends to be a net loss for most people and they are actually better off alone.

The reality is that the technology is incidental. People are grabbing whatever they can to solve their problems and the technology just happens to be there. It's certainly better than the last solution (Instagram and friends.)

When do you think about it, do you actually like your community?

For me, I increasingly think that I found community tolerable, but only for lack of a better option. In a world of LLMs, I’m gonna have a much more interesting conversation with ChatGPT then I will at dinner with strangers.

Yes, I love the people I have chosen to associate with and build community with. I consciously choose to be where they are, and to share my time with them, because they are good people and I have chosen them. An LLM ain't gonna love you back. They're just fancy ouija boards, tools that will never replace a human connection (although I assume interacting with them can still produce dopamine under certain circumstances).

It's work, it's time, but community is a function of effort and intentionality. If I want interesting conversation, I come here, because mods keep the bots out.

Not really the point. I can read a good book and get more "interesting" information content than I might get out of talking to an average person. But talking to people builds social bonds and is what creates communities in the first place. They serve different purposes. Talking to a chatbot does neither. It might give you reasonably entertaining or even informative text, but of generally lower quality and less factual reliability than real books, and it won't build social bonds or communities because you're not actually talking to any kind of entity with a continuing existence, just an ephemeral process on a server somewhere that will get turned off as soon as your session ends.

Sounds like what an LLM would say. Is this satire?

I agree that we should have more third-spaces, less working hours, and generally change our culture to facilitate in-person socialization. But right now in-person socialization is hard. Moreover, I suspect some people still won't find friends because, to be blunt, they're generally unlikable; they wouldn't want to be friends with themselves, and don't have the self-awareness or self-discipline to change even when such changes are presented as obvious and easy as possible. Also, there are more bullies then people who want to be bullied, more attention-seekers than attention-givers, etc.

Therefore it becomes another case of "is an AI friend better than no friend?" Furthermore, I think that AI, if done correctly, can not only improve society but actually help in-person socialization: by helping people develop social skills and encouraging them to meet other real people. For example, an "AI companion" that you talk with could analyze your personality to be the ideal friend or SO, then connect you to another real person whose appearance and personality are near what it imitates. An AI that has your attention and trust can also critique your real personality flaws and encourage you to fix them (in a supportive way*).

However, current AI companions are too dumb to be effective; for example, they don't develop accurate social skills or criticize personality flaws, because they're unrealistically affectionate and agreeable. Another problem is that companies aren't directly incentivized to make their AIs give good advice and connect real people, companies are incentivized to make money; and it's probably cheaper to get lots of dumb people to pay for a dumb, agreeable chatbot than invest in a smart chatbot that criticizes them and facilitates its own replacement. There is some demand for the latter though, so perhaps someday, a smaller company could develop an AI companion that is genuinely a net benefit to society; and there may be some people whom even a dumb AI companion improves their lives better than nothing.

* emphasizing that self-improvement will help you in the real world, and reminding you that you still have value and deserve love, but standing firm on the criticism. Not like current AI which fawns over and agrees with everything

The comments here kinda surprise me. We should encourage people to talk to their community, their fellow citizen, neighbor, that's what the human experience is.

Biggest problem here is that solving loneliness is/was a huge market opportunity. Boring people do all kinds of things they pay a lot of money for, to buy themselves friends. Yours truly is not the exception. If this market contracts, it may have very negative economic consequences.

When I was 13, I was pretty lonely (it lasted until I was in highschool). I solved it by diving into computers and software development, and it really has shaped my entire career later in life.

AI will no more solve loneliness than a painkiller will set a broken arm.

More likely to turn acute loneliness into chronic loneliness, similar to what excessive use of painkillers cause to pain.

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