Hacker News Reader

Comment by angmarsbane | Hacker News Reader

Same boat. I know a number of women who couldn't find partners who both wanted kids and could pay half the bills so those women are now freezing their eggs or pursuing single motherhood by choice. Of the woman I know who are married, all of them had to talk their husbands into the first child and second child.

View on HN

My sister is one of these cases. My take is the bar for marriage / life partner is really really high in modern relationships. Women aren't able to attract the mates they want, so they would rather try to do it on their own or wait, than "settle" for a guy that isn't meeting their standards.

The female dating coach Logan Ury wrote a book called "How not to die alone" which discusses this issue.

> Women aren't able to attract the mates they want

Women set expectation bar so high, only top 5% of men meet.

In 20 years, with more women than men going to college, a lot of women aren’t going to find partners if they want someone that matched or exceeds their education level.

There have been more women than men in college for 40 years — and this is already a problem, because women don’t date down.

No one tell my wife please.

Except that women with college degree are marrying around as much as in the past. It is women without college degrees who are not marrying.

> Women aren't able to attract the mates they want, so they would rather try to do it on their own or wait, than "settle" for a guy that isn't meeting their standards.

This seems like a rational decision to me. Better go it alone than risk becoming the sole carer of both a baby and a man-baby.

This tracts, but I think women are evaluating men in “TikTok” metrics, instead of qualities that make a man a great partner.

For example, being over 6ft doesn’t make you a good dad. Or being physically attractive, doest’t make you a supportive partner.

If anything, these characteristics make a man worse, as men in these categories tend to have the pick of the litter, resulting in many women frustrating and disappointed in men if they weren’t selected.

I've spent a ton of time around women and men and I can tell you men are way more likely to make a decision based on physical appearance.

That's not what the data says when looking at online dating for example.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com