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Comment by SoftTalker | Hacker News Reader

One thing that helps with this: getting old. You just stop worrying about what other people think of you. All the drama and gossip and cliquish behavior just gets so boring.

Why do you think old fat guys walk around naked in the locker room at the gym? They've certainly got nothing to show off, but they don't give a shit.

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Yes. And this is very helpful. If you are young and you suck at something, more people will give you the benefit of the youth and envision you may improve. If you're old and you suck at something, many will think you're just old, and you just suck. "Don't hurt yourself!" So yes, not giving a shit is a very good way to make progress.

For me this is it.

Whenever someone does “statusy” things I just know how it feels like having done it before so I just move on and don’t participate in that theater anymore.

Or maybe you just done need to.

We live in a society in which older people(or men, at least) get some degree of implicit status and respect - which is probably why our governments are all getontocracies.

It’s never been about gender, it’s only ever about money. You’ll blow your mind when you pull back a layer and realize this.

Or keep holding time against old men, up to you. ;)

Sometime around mid-30s I stopped caring about what people think about me and it had a great effect on my mental well being. I reconnected with age old Lindy wisdom and started reading classics that helped me with my midlife crisis. Not giving a fuck surprisingly opens up lots of doors.

Status games and tech-bro style hustle culture only leads to burnout.

They “let it all hang out” quite literally.

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/let_it_all_hang_out

> (idiomatic) to relax and be carefree

> Synonym: let one's hair down

"Sexy indifference" is how I've heard it. Don't be a jerk about it, but also give off the DGAF vibe. It works.

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