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"And I think that's how it should be. I didn't feel comfortable hacking up the code of a Real Programmer."

Ok, i actually cried at this part.

Perhaps you'd like the original story he's referencing: https://foldoc.org/The%20Story%20of%20Mel. (Actually, he's referencing the free verse version, but I don't like it as much, because it doesn't mention "most pessimum")

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