How a family tragedy helped me beat my phone addiction

Backstory: About one month ago while visiting us from overseas, my wife’s parents were in a terrible car accident. Everyone involved is alive and going to be okay. But what followed was a series of emotional, physical and logistical challenges that pushed my wife and her family to their limits.

For the first week we were practically glued to our phones, contacting family members, insurance companies and air ambulance services. I found myself obsessively checking my phone for updates, sending empty messages and mindlessly scrolling feeds. My screen time reached all time highs. I was spending 12 of my 16 waking hours staring at a screen instead of being there for my wife and her parents. It felt like I was hiding on my phone.

I don’t have a particularly addictive personality, but I am undeniably addicted to my phone. And this was the week I finally needed to deal with it.

I tried Apple Screen Time and a few popular screen time management apps, but found the blocks were too easy to bypass. I also realised that most apps (e.g. YouTube) were as useful as they were distracting depending on the context. I didn’t necessarily want to use my phone less: it’s an incredibly useful tool, and the distractions were sometimes helpful.

What I really needed was intentional stretches of time spent away from my phone. I built touchgrass.fm as a simple way to record and incentivize those stretches of time. It’s not quite finished (built in a few hours of downtime), but it helped me stay present during hospital visits, meals and important conversations.

I decided to share it on the off chance it helps others get some control back and be a bit more present in their day to day lives!

Link: https://www.touchgrass.fm

What Are You Working On (June 2025): https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=44416093#44427955