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Comment by rollinDyno | Hacker News Reader

I'm sorry for your loss.

Thank you. I for one appreciate the curtsey of expressing sympathies. I don't question the motivation or whatever. It's just a kind gesture.

I will note that I'm trying not to think of her death as a loss. It certainly is in many ways for grandkids and others who were just starting to get to know her. But for the rest of us, I like to think we have a part of our deceased loved ones with us that we now have the responsibility to cary forward.

You killed her?

I'm cynical in general, but this type of stuff always sticks out. "I'm sorry for your loss" from one nameless headless stranger to a different nameless headless stranger feels as sincere as an AI bot, and that's to say it absolutely isn't.

Same as people saying things like "Don't say no one loves you, because I love you <3" but it's in a forum like this, or on Reddit. You don't know them. you don't love them.

You don't need to know them to empathize with them.

But is it real empathy? Did they actually pause and feel bad and convert their emotional response to some written message?

Or did they just short circuit. "Dead relative -> Say sorry for your loss". Like an AI bot.

It's the second one.

One of my younger brothers died a few weeks ago (he was 67; I'm 75). When people offer sympathy, I accept it and don't question their motives or involvement.

NotAnOtter smells like IsASkunk ... Why not just sit this one out instead of crushing the sentiment? I lost no mom in February and appreciate when people offer their condolences. And I'm this case, when I offer my condolences, I have at least some idea of what they're going through.

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