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Comment by Workaccount2 | Hacker News Reader

Lifestyle is key here.

An older friend conveyed to me pretty much the exact same thing you are, that he cannot imagine having kids at 40 because you will not be able to keep up with them energy wise. You get old and your body really starts to give in.

Alright Geoff, thanks, but you are 54 and do zero exercise, have a diet of eating out at fast food and fast casual restaurants, a body type that would be described as "meatball", and a list of medical conditions which all scream lifestyle change.

Meanwhile at trail running meets, I bump into 60 year olds still giving some 35 year olds a run for their money.

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Physical shape is not the same or even proportional to the ability to pull all-nighters.

I know two men 18 years apart in age who became fathers at the same time - two months apart to be exact. Even though the older is an avid gym-goer, it's only the younger who can pull off popping back into full strength after less than 6h of sleep.

Newborns keep you up but an all-nighter is a stretch. Also, you're looking after your kid and trying to get them to sleep, not trying to churn out code to get something to market/go to prod.

Both of mine had colic and went through difficult teething. I've pulled all-nighters to deliver something and it's much easier than several weeks of sleepless nights with an infant.

Yeah true getting sick at that age is rough.

A sick kid will absolutely keep you up all night, and kids love germs, so they get sick a lot

My youngest was born when I was 47. He’s now 9. I also have a 13 yr born when I was 43. I’m tired but I don’t think it’s from the kids. (More I’m tired of working - been burning the candle at both ends for nearly 40 years.) The biggest difference of having kids at this age is that I don’t have time to myself or for myself like other parents around me so are by now empty nesters or close.

I always needed more than 8 hrs of sleep, now that I am into my 50s, I feel well after 4 hours. Anecdotes are good. My grandfather got to 100 not sleeping more than a few hours a night after he turned 55 and he raised my cousins as their parents were shite. I know whining young parents who complain about lack of sleep, I know older parents who never do as they were happy finally having a kid. Etc.

> Alright Geoff, thanks, but you are 54 and do zero exercise, have a diet of eating out at fast food and fast casual restaurants, a body type that would be described as "meatball", and a list of medical conditions which all scream lifestyle change.

> Meanwhile at trail running meets, I bump into 60 year olds still giving some 35 year olds a run for their money.

Yup, this is very much key.

My son was born when I was 45 and I absolutely could not be more happy about it. I am in way better shape than I was at 30, I finally started taking that seriously, and also I am way wiser, more patient, and have more money.

So if you hear anyone telling you they can't imagine late fatherhood ignore them, they obviously aren't good at imagining things.

While generally true, you are not the only one aging around you, and some sickness/accident stuff can happen with higher probability as years add up.

The chance you will need to take care of both your kids and your parents in your 50s is pretty high (not even going into you and your partner), while facing declining health yourself.

Could be easily manageable, or not. Ask me in a decade.

But one thing is darn true - if a good long term stable match is not there, no point pushing for kids. World really doesnt need more damaged folks struggling their whole lives to overcome shitty childhood. And thats fine, parenthood is not for everybody and there can be an amazing life to be had instead (and I mean it in best way possible, but that life shouod not be spent behind the desk and on the couch)

Aging sucks! Obviously you can do everything wrong, and mess your body up pretty good. You can also do everything right, and just have bad luck. Lingering injury, hereditary health conditions, things add up. By the time you are in your 60s, it takes a combination of good habits and good luck to be in good shape. It's comforting to point to active older people and say "I'm going to grow up to be just like them". Just aware of survivorship bias.

Good news: most studies show that adults that do moderate exercise have a lower rate of fall-related injuries in old age than those that do little to no exercise.

This is ridiculous. I’m 40 and in moderately good physical condition (I can lift and run many miles).

I am perfectly capable of keeping up with my kids.

My 72 year old father who is also in good condition keeps up with my 3 year old son.

The difference I see between a reasonably fit 40 year old and not is the massive gap.

>Meanwhile at trail running meets, I bump into 60 year olds still giving some 35 year olds a run for their money.

Interrupt that 60 year old's sleep twice a night with a newborn crying, add a bunch of new responsibilities, and I'll be impressed if he even makes it to the meet.

You're comparing people who have made exercise their #1 priority in life to people who have made their kids and supporting their families financially their top 2 priorities. It's a bullshit comparison.

You think someone going to a trail running meet has made exercise their #1 priority?

My father is 63, raised three children and has had a successful long marriage and retired from a good career. He also goes works out daily and did for most of my childhood. He didn't make exercise his number one priority.

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