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and then we have C-n C-p of emacs. it should come with a health hazard warning.

I don’t mind it, because I don’t use it that much. And when I do, I move my whole hand to use the index fingers. I mostly use isearch and imenu.

which even then is horrendous ergonomics.

Haha, yeah, that's way more atrocious, the ergonomic reaper of bad mnemonics of next/previous line sweeping again...