I hate how recruiters use a lot of words tell you absolutely nothing about the position and make up lies to make you feel like you're special. Below is a boiler-plate message I got from a lame tech recruiter, followed by my snarky response.

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My associate forward me your contact info. and the hiring VP of Engineering is interested in your technical background for a senior position.

The company I’m working for is very successful, profitable and well funded by several top VCs. Also can you please email me your current resume in word so I can forward it to the hiring VP of Engineering so he can review it, the resume he has is a bit dated...

The compensation is excellent with great stock options, bonus, 401k and comprehensive package. I can call you with all the details on the position and company, please let me know the best # to call you at.

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Let me see if I get this. You're telling me that an unnamed associate told you that an nameless VP of Engineering at an unspecified company thinks I'm great and has a job that pays an uncertain salary.

Please call me at my undisclosed phone number so we can discuss my unmentionable thoughts on this matter.