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This is an interesting solution and wouldn't mind using one of my existing servers as a gateway or proxy (?).

Is there a way to be selective about what ports are exposed from the host to the target? The target could handle it but fine grained control is nice.

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You could just set a default deny iptables policy for forwarding to that host, and then explicitly open the ports you want

iptables is legacy now and if you're not already well-versed in it, better go straight to nftables (which should be easier to get started with anyway). On modern systems, iptables commands are translated to nftables equivalents by transitional package.

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