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Comment by macspoofing | Hacker News Reader

There's another reason for 'hello' ... it's a way to make sure you have the other person's attention before launching into a topic or question.

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That’s exactly what’s rude about it. Don’t make sure you have their attention. Just send the actual message.

If it’s urgent enough that the actual message isn’t enough, “Hello” isn’t going to cut it either.

I didn't make a value judgment on the practice, but it is a reason why you may get a "hello" message.

Funnily, I've mostly gotten it at 3am. I've literally had 24h time lapse from the initial hello to actual question.

I've also had cases where I've immediately responded "hi" only to get the question about 1h later.

That's only rude sometimes. We don't typically talk to other people in real life without confirming their attention (e.g. via eye contact) first.

None of this discussion is about in-person conversations.

That's because we're communicating synchronously in person. If you say something when I'm not listening to you, I will probably start listening midway through your statement, and miss potentially vital info. In a slack message, I can just read it again.

IDK about you but I get chats from 30+ different people and I usually miss at least one person's message a day as it falls off the "front page" so to speak

I don't see how "hello?" helps with that. If anything, it makes things worse if everybody does that, because now half of those chats from 30+ different people are that, drowning out the useful messages.

It doesnt help the recipient. It helps the sender.

In the described scenario (chats falling off the front page) it doesn't help either party.

In the case where you want an immediate discussion, don't trust the status indicator, and there are multiple different people you could contact, a quick confirmation that the selected party is online and available is not unreasonable.

The two scenarios are not mutually exclusive

>That’s exactly what’s rude about it.

By the way, I also hate the "hello"-only message. I am, however, guilty of writing "Hey. Do you have a second to chat" - typically in cases where either through chat or video conference I want to go through something that is more involved, and I also want some confirmation of understanding and acknowledgement.

If the notification bubble just says "hello" it's on the bottom of the stack of my priorities. If it's "hey, this alert came up..." then it's actually going to flag my attention.

If you want my attention give me a reason to give it.

That’s a poor reason; I just say “hi” back and tab out until there is another message. They capture my attention with details.

If the conversation needs that, many think that indicates it should be an email, or a meeting, not a chat.

No way that makes sense. Email is for external conversations. Meetings are hour long.

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