Reasons I self-host everything but my own email server

I read this with some interest because I've self hosted personal email since about 2001, with experience in email management going back to 1995. The challenges presented are certainly true enough, but I still think self hosting is still worth it. I'd rather not share the management of private keys with DNS (DNSSEC) and email service providers (STARTTLS, SMTPS, DKIM, POP3S, IMAPS). I'd like to keep them, well, private. It also provides the opportunity to see the mail queue, and mail server logs. I find that helpful.

I tried to set up a self hosted mail server just a few months ago, but I stumbled over 1 minor thing.

I have a residential connection of course. Thought contractually I have a dynamic IP, in practice it hasn't changed ever since I have been with them (which is now 7 or so years). I can host my own website from my home without a problem. Also, all the necessary ports are unblocked. So that's great.

I started to follow some tutorials, and it was working fine, I could send emails to certain places. But not everywhere. Most notably not to gmail. And that's when I started to learn about DMARC and other email security thingies. I started to set them up, and one of them required me to set up RDNS records.

When I contacted my ISP about that, the customer service folks had no idea what I was talking about. After a few rounds of back and forth, I gave up. (3 years ago I really thought that AI would solve such customer support issues by now. I was wrong.)

And I don't really know what else... I guess I would use some smtp relay services, though I haven't found one yet that would sell only smtp relay, without some other hosting bundle.