I am a random nobody, I was there at the time the Ethereum presale happened, and they were accepting purchases from people just like me.

In fact the presale was so open that it was drawing substantial criticism at the time. People were worried about the legal ramifications of them selling to literally any member of the public, without any KYC or vetting process. It was the polar opposite of selling to insiders.

That's aside from your metrics for the sale being wrong as well.