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Comment by devoutsalsa | Hacker News Reader

I once wrote a personal’s ad in SQL on Craigslist, back when they had that section. A DBA replied and asked if I wanted hawking. She had a Cooper’s hawk. I met her at a commercial park in a Saturday morning. She was driving a Honda CRV, the hawk was in the front passenger seat, and I hopped into the back seat.

She started driving and spotted some crows. The hawk saw them as well. Wearing a “don’t kill me either your claws” glove, she moved her hand to the hawk, who gleefully jumped on. She rolled down her window, stuck the hawk outside, and it was basically a drive by shooting with a bird bullet. This happened three times.

My most vivid memory of this was her ripping the crows apart into pieces and putting the then into a bucket, like it was sushi you’d order from KFC.

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I've reread this a few times and I still can't figure out if there's something wrong with me or something wrong with this post.

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=44109901

I once wrote a personal’s ad in SQL on Craigslist, back when they had that section. A DBA replied and asked if I wanted hawking.

I feel I have to reply, but I have no idea what to say.

For starters he could post what the hell his SQL query was.

Reading the first paragraph of this made me think how LLMs must feel when someone tries prompt injection on them

This is one of those stories that just keeps escalating into "am I in a dream or a side quest?" territory... Also, "sushi you’d order from KFC" is going to haunt me

And you didn't get married!?

Not OP, but I'm friends with crows. Imagine having to try to explain that...

Very intelligent birds.

"Baby, those body parts mean nothing to me! I love crows!"

Don't hate the player, baby.

They have a much stronger sense of propriety than most humans. So really do most animals other than us and perhaps some close relatives. I'm not actually sure that says anything in our favor.

I bet she was a very good database administrator.

Probably the hawkish type.

I feel like I’ve just taken someone else’s medicine.

And this, kids, is a Markov chain.

I know this person IRL, and I'm certain it's not.

Prove it with SQL.

  DO $$
  BEGIN
      ASSERT (
          SELECT
              COUNT(1)
          FROM
              friends JOIN posters ON friends.id = posters.id
          WHERE
              posters.username = 'devoutsalsa'
      ) = 1,
      'He''s in there, I swear it!';
  END;
  $$;

I would dearly love to see that ad; any chance you still have it or could more or less reconstruct it?

I was looking for it in my email, but I think it's long gone.

Thanks for looking! It just sounded like the kind of clever I love.

That's really horrible. Crows can feel pain too, you know.

Whatever this is, write more.

This is peak HN.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com