I’m going out on a limb to guess that his commendable efforts at writing (and keeping a digital copy of) a hilarious satirical mathematical takedown were aimed squarely at going viral after the fact, exactly as has been done, rather than reaching the eyeballs of a petty corporate bureaucrat with a drawer full of coupons.

That being said, hopefully he brightened someone’s day over there, because surely the Complaints Department for a shitty breakfast brand consists of a thankless saga of reading illiterate screeds full of abuse and trivial outrage. Who needs Facebook?

Is "Hoping to restore your faith in us" really part of their form letter? It fits right in with the melodrama of the complaint, but I guess it's plausible that's what they always say.

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