Modern dog ownership has redefined family and parenting | Hacker News Reader

Modern dog ownership has redefined family and parenting

eurekalert.org

12 pointsnreece15 comments

> The authors of the study also propose alternative ways of thinking about the dog-human bond, blending the characteristics of different human relationships – not only the child-parent relationship, but also friendship and partnership - resulting in a unique bond with its own dynamics.

This is only towards the end of the article but addresses what was bothering me throughout it all — that having dogs is only viewed here through the lens of how it relates to having children.

What if some people (like me) simply 1) like dogs 2) don’t want children, and there’s no link?

From the article: " The authors are currently running a new study to deepen the understanding of the dog-human relationship. Dog owners across the world are invited to answer the following questionnaire: https://tally.so/r/nPXKPb "

did the survey. very badly designed. asked wrong questions. ambiguous questions. and double negatives

Can't stand people who go out of their way to own animals. If an animal befriends you or you rescue one, that's great. But being a "dog person" and when your old dog dies you feel the need to go out and "get" another dog... no different than those Victorian era rich folk throwing bread crumbs on the ground so they could watch hungry colony children scraffle around for it, and then act like they're doing them a good deed. Just letting you feel superior. That or you're just selfish and feel entitled to own people. Either way it's evil.

I imagine you feel the same way with people using IVF pr other techniques to get children?

I do feel the same way about those people. I can't imagine a scenario where you want anything that bad and are not objectifying it. The simple fact is that the idea of "getting" or "having" people is bad. Doesn't matter if they want to be good parents. No different than wanting a colored boy at the house. Sure it might make you happy, but the whole idea and the ideas underpinning those thoughts are disgusting and evil.

You think a couple struggling to have children is the same as someone who wants a slave?

That's genuinely unhinged.

I'm open to reinterpretation but I simply can't see how it's different.

They've objectified a person. It's not a person they know and formed a relationship with. They wanted a "child" object "for" their lives (for themselves) so bad they spent money, went to a doctor, probably cried about it. They call it "unfair" that they didn't get the standard-issue fairy tale everyone is supposed to get. They feel cheated, as if they were entitled to it. The "child" is not a person to them, it's an object. It's a fungible token. They could have ended up with a different person and they wouldn't care; the child role is filled and so the fairy tale is complete.

I can tell you personally what happens when this person (the one they call "child") decides to go their own way in life contrary to the wishes of the owner/parent. Ostracism, coercion, blackmail, abuse, manipulation. Such disappointment that the person called "child" didn't follow the predetermined procedure, the fairy tale. It didn't do what it was programmed to do and they feel cheated.

I think you have completely misunderstood why most people wants dogs. Sure, there are a few that view them as accessories, but they are in the minority.

The dog owners I know, see them as companions and friends. There's no feeling of superiority or domination.

The reason they want to "get" a new dog when their old dog die, is because they are in deep grief over the loss of a family member and wants to feel a connection again

That still fundamentally treats them as objects to be used for self benefit. They didn't value the pet as "Billy", they value the pet as a "the dog". They only value it insofar as it fulfills its expected duties like following arbitrary commands for the owner's entertainment. I've seen some good pet owners but the vast majority do very much seem to use their pets as accessories.

It's like those people who put adult-styled clothing on babies who have absolutely no ability to comprehend style or aesthetic and are absolutely suffering because those bulky-ass baby jeans take 20 minutes to force on and are just impossible to exist in without crying because of the fundamental nature of size and thickness relativity, and a bow bigger than their head, oh and we HAVE to have the shoes, no not those, the ones that match; can you hold her still she won't quit fighting me while I'm putting these shoes on her. We're gonna be late for her award ceremony.

These people will invariably be disappointed when their property exerts its agency and doesn't do "what they had planned for it". "Where did we go wrong? Why didn't they turn out the way we wanted" they'll ask...

> treats them as objects to be used for self benefit

Wow.

This means everyone I've ever met in my entire life is a multi-time objectifier of women/men/pets/etc. We've all sought out new partners and friends upon losing others.

I feel for you, because it seems you have such a lost idea for people and relationships. You're projective all these bitter ideas that I've never ever in 38y observed in my life/others.

People spend a fortune of money and time on what you perceive as a label/symbol

This simply don't match my experience. You should consider if you have had an experience out of the ordinary that has formed your views.

> They didn't value the pet as "Billy", they value the pet as a "the dog".

I know people with multiple dogs, and they are treated as individuals with their own motivations and habits. They are still dogs, so we should be careful about treating them as a child replacement. But most of those I know treat them with respect.

When a dog dies, they often don't want an identical dog to replace them, because they know that they can't get their dog back.

> They only value it insofar as it fulfills its expected duties like following arbitrary commands for the owner's entertainment

None of the people I know forces the dog to do tricks for food or "roll over" for amusement. They focus on useful stuff like "come here", "sit", "stay" etc. These are only used as a form of communication and only in situations where they are needed.

When one of those dogs tries to escape their prison, what happens? They are hunted down and returned to their cell. Best case scenario they find another prison with nicer guards and they are "allowed" to transfer. If the old prison wants them back, it can forcibly take them.

But I guess I see why it has to be that way. There's nowhere on Earth left to go that hasn't been turned into a prison other than the uninhabitable places.

Wild take, truly wild!

I love my stupid dog. Seeing her little face when she looks at me makes me so happy, it’s ridiculous. And I know she loves me back just as much. Really, I can kinda see how you get here, but I think you ought to try having a dog. If anything, save it from one of these people you imagine are inflicting their selfishness upon it.

I have cats who decided they live with and I love them as much as I possibly can. My position is not born of dislike for animals.

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