Looking for some success stories of people who overcame something like this.
I find accepting and making peace with my problems (paradoxically) helps improve the problem.
I am going through a particularly low dip right now. I haven't done any work in the last 4 days. I tried a 4 minute pomodoro timer yesterday and 2 minutes in I was already completely off task.
In the past I would panic, worry, think "Why me and my terrible executive function?" or "What if I can never do anything again ever". Instead I am accepting that this is the issue I have and keeping a curious, open mind to possible solutions. I'm trying out taking longer breaks, changing up my workspace, body doubling, nutrition, timers, not trying to do anything etc.
I'm sure it will swing back the other way in its own time.
Of course I would love to be able to be consistently able to work, but that is not a reality for me. In the same way I would love to be able to run 100m in 9.6 seconds but that is also just not realistic.
Other comments here are good too: eat well, sleep enough, exercise regularly. This is a good baseline to have but these things alone never fixed my issues.
I don't know how you do that, i am so close to just ending it all because i cannot continue like this.
Don't expect any miracles from meds.
Diet, exercise, sleep.
Find things to look forward to.
Take it one day at a time.
I have tried exercise, it helps with moods but not really with executive function. I have taken it one step at a time for so long, can't do it anymore unless i can see some hope of solving this. This is no way to live
It usually helps.
When I need more words to chew over, I re-read ViolentAcres' incredible post "Most People are Sad for a Reason" [1]. Thanks for my annual reminder.
>“I learned that I wasn’t sad because there was something wrong with my brain. I learned that I was sad because my life sucked ... you should be wary of the Doctor who tells you a pill is a fix for your broken mind. The way I see it, you have a lot of reasons to be sad right now. So if that’s what you’re feeling, that seems about right to me.” —linked author's grandmother
[1] https://violentacres.com.jimfaulkner.net/most-people-are-dep...
Depending on what you struggle with, try batching tasks. I used to have a long list of things to remember to do regularly (wash up, clear the bench, put the kids' toys away, etc.), and I would often ignore it because it became annoying. All I did was change it to a plain note that I can look at and see if the task was completed, and eventually those tasks became a habit.
Another is starting a new job. I don’t think I realized how bored or burnt out I was until I left and joined a new company.
Other than that all the basics: sleep, food, and exercise.
But it’s hard when it gets bad. The only other advice is have a good therapist and psychiatrist that you trust.
I presume you are not part of the executive suite. If so -- get out!
When in the trenches, I have found the best approach is to recognize that you can't change "them". It is not personal and you certainly need to look upon it all as absurdist theatre. Read some Albert Camus or Jean Paul Sartre to realize that your experience if far from unique.
You don't need medication; just shift your viewpoint.
Given that, you have to realize your soul is telling you "I'm kind of tired of being stupid, and you and your brain seem to have stupid ideas for me - the soul".
It's a fight between your heart and your mind, and your mind is a slave to whatever reality demands. Now, your soul may be so depressed that it wants to sit and do nothing, but that's not going to work (no pun intended). So you have to have your mind and soul find a compromise, whatever that is.
The soul cannot lie, and it will stop you in your tracks. You better start talking to it. One thing my soul eventually conceded is that my body needs food and shelter at the bare minimum, so it capitulated a bit and worked together with my mind to get things done, but nothing more. Do not fuck with the soul dude, it's nothing to play with.
Could just as easily make it worse. I had gone on a lower dose of an antidepressant and had exactly this problem. I had to go on medical leave until I could get back on my previous dose and stabilize.
Sleep and exercise, especially cardio, are all that worked. The drugs interrupt sleep. They can easily hurt more than help.
'Sticking to a task' is an emotional problem not a willpower problem. Often times uncomfortable activities prompt us to switch to something else less painful in the moment. Eg, 'I don't want to write this email (because I will potentially say something dumb and be judged)' can be alleviated by playing mobile game (now I don't feel the discomfort of writing the email).
'Everything's falling apart' -> There is a tendency to point towards the extremes in this comment (and others). You would need to speak to a licensed professional to get a full diagnosis with proper treatment (lots of underlying conditions that can be associated with this). However, in general Id recommend a couple things: 1) Focus on getting enough sleep, eating properly and meeting your other human needs: connection, purpose, stability. 2) Focus on building empathy with both others and yourself. Focus on why other people do things that aren't perfect, accept that. Focus on why you do things that aren't perfect, accept that.
It seems weird. Like why do I have to smile at someone who wrongs me. They don't deserve it. However, executive disfunction is an emotional issue. There's not any one trick that will solve it. To do well as a human your subconscious needs to know that your conscious will meet your needs. When that doesn't happen it will take over whatever you 'think' you should be doing and lead you to do something else. Getting back in touch with your executive function means getting back in touch with what your body subconsciously needs.
Practically, I would recommend these concrete actions: 1) Focus on a consistent wake up time, this is easiest if you commit to something else in your life that requires you to be present. 2) Focus on having at least one healthy meal a day. 3) Do at least 20 minutes of physical activity a day. This can be as simple as walking to the donut shop and eating a donut. 4) Make a log of what you do instead when you fail to do a task. Review it without judgement.
Try starting the day thinking what you are going to work on, and why that is a Good Thing (TM).
- get enough sleep
- get regular exercise (most days of the week)
You might be burned out, especially if you're experimenting with substances to try and maintain previous momentum. Some people can seemingly do that for years, but for most people it's going to end in a crash at some point.
I recently decided to double up on my Vyvanse dose (without telling my doctor), and that was effective. For a day.
Life asks a fuck of a lot of us. More as we age, but more as the world changes.
On a good day, I naturally don't think about it. On a bad day, it's all I can think about. On an average day I've come to accept peaks and troughs.
I can't be running on all cylinders all the time, most people can't.
Mood for me is key. Others have mentioned sleep, exercise and diet, the holy trinity.
Alcohol is guaranteed to mess me up and I generally avoid it these days. Time outside without the phone is also magnificent, I might do that now.
Don't beat yourself up.
Anti depressants and vyvanse? Do you have adhd or are you depressed or both? I don't have adhd and mine was caused by depression and life circumstance at the time.
what was the underlying cause for your issues, if you don't mind sharing?
My cognitive capacity dropped so low that even my speech became nearly monosyllabic. The feeling of being depressed switched to the point where I was in a constant fog and I really felt like I was a passenger to the depression, like I no longer had depression but depression had me.
I was going to a therapist at the time who was very good and very expensive and he was quite clear about the need for intervention and to take things seriously. I had also recently stumbled across this paper: https://www.jcdr.net/articles/PDF/6186/13392_CE%28RA1%29_F%2... so even though I had depression my primary concern was the severity that had led to my cognitive decline.
I really didn't want to go on anti-depressants but I was willing to do so, I made a deal with my therapist that I would commit to biking every single day for the 3 weeks between sessions and if I didn't stick to that commitment I would start a prescription.
My dad had a terrible bout with depression when I was a teenager, caused by some very serious betrayal in business dealings by a close friend, for a time he didn't get out of bed, that short period of time spiraled our family life out of control and materially destroyed my life trajectory which took me decades of hard work to crawl out of because I started supporting our family full time at 15 out of necessity, because this was pre ACA and we had a lapse in coverage during which my mother was diagnosed with cancer. I won't go into the details here but basically I loved my dad but always felt a deep anger/rage at this period of not getting out of bed. So no matter what I would get out of bed.
I got on my road bike and biked twenty miles a day every day as hard as I could, I took a route that was ten miles and I left nothing for the ride back, then I would ride back, this was in the Texas August heat, I would drink 2 gallons of water and had to keep an ice bottle to keep my head cool, I rode like some sort of doomed machine trying to tear my own limbs apart.
For two weeks I did this, with no improvement, no incremental change, nothing. On my bike I would cry and sing (because of that pdf) like some kind of psycho barreling towards hell, because I have heart defects I am on medication that blocks adrenaline so there wasn't even a runners high and the first 30 minutes of riding I always felt like lead as my heart took time to keep up with the exertion (that is still and will always be the case for me). On the 16th day, after my ride, my mental fog lifted for one hour as i flipped back into the driver seat, i was still depressed but _I_ was depressed.
I never went on anti-depressants, the facts of my life were still what they were and everything fell apart and my whole life changed radically and permanently and I lost so much of everything a person can lose. But after 45 days of continuing to just get out of bed and step on my bike every single day, and singing and raging and just absolutely sounding nuts on this 20 mile ride in 90+ degree heat I finally had my first FULL day where I was depressed but my mind was working and the depression was no longer in the driver seat, I had ownership for the entire day.
And the whole thing felt impossible at each step, but really all it was was mechanically getting out of bed, getting my feet on my bike pedals and biking far enough away that I was finished but I still had to bike back.
I couldn't have done it on a treadmill, I couldn't have done it in a pool, I had to push myself as hard as I could. Fortunately on a bike 20 miles was two hours at first and later an hour.
Don't have adhd, could be depressed possibly but since this has been a lifelong thing, as long as I have been, can't be sure if i am depressed because of the dysfunction or dysfunctional because of depression.
Burnout comes from the wheel not moving the car, not from the energy applied to moving the wheel.
1. Healthy food: I tend to freezer prep the healthiest meals for like a month. Think like an industrialist here, cook for scale.
2. Running: two or three 3 mile runs a week helps a lot
3. Sleep: without it, I'm fucked. With it, I might not be. But without it, there's no chance to do anything.
4. Love: my wife is my life (in a sense). I'd do anything for her, even overcome my executive dysfunction. If it's for her, I will fight and if she needs a functioning me, I will fight for it.
5. Therapy: it turns out I had trauma. We were able to cleanly heal half of that. The other half is more messy but it helped with everything.
6. Meditation: I don't do it a lot unless I'm at a retreat. Each retreat I go to helps, eventhough I hate going, haha. It really helps (checkout dhamma.org).
7. Combine training discipline with meaning and hope. I want to learn more math as I want to understand the secrets of the universe and I think it's in math and coding and AI. Well, it's one avenue, it's in more of that but those 3 topics are already huge. I'm learning math now because I want to know the secrets of the universe (I'm a playful whimsical romantic person like that). Learning math requires me to utilize more discipline than I'm used to. I will fight for it. For if I can't even have a shot at this, I don't see much of a point other than living for my wife. So yea, I have to do this, I have to understand more about the nature of reality. Because it's awesome. It just so happens that it helps me to stay focused at work.
8. Pick a job that plays to your strenghts and is below your level. I'm currently a data analyst and I'm overqualified to do that job. I could've started as a junior data scientist 7 years ago (if anyone would've had me back then). Doing data analyst stuff right now is easy peasy. Linear regression? Done. Some coding? I'll tackle it as a software engineer (I was one before this). Creating dashboards with Tableau? I did frontend with React before this. Doing some SQL? Sure. Doing some presenting? I love presenting! I could do this job even when I'm sleep deprived as it doesn't tax me cognitively, being a software engineer does.
9. Train discipline. Related to 7 but just the advice to do your best to train discipline.
10. Love yourself, foregive yourself, go easy on yourself. You're trying, you're doing your best. That's all you can do. Beating yourself up about it will only mean you have to do more damage control.
11. Look for role models. I only found partial ones, but I've seen similar neurodiverse people tackling life's challenges better than I did. I emulated them a bit and it helps.
12. Attack this problem from the angle that you'll tackle it from a 1000 different perspectives.
13. Journal and reflect. I'm not great at this. I write a lot in my Apple Notes, that's great. I almost never read it though. I do tend to read my journals when I have to write a how to guide to myself. I write guides like "how to sleep" or "how to be good at dating" (thank god I'm married now!), basic life stuff. It really helps.
14. Play to your strengths. One of mine is that I'm incredibly curious. Half the time reframing something as an experiment as opposed to a task I have to do will make me do it. But that's because I'm incredibly curious and need to know the outcome of that experiment.
15. I tried some ADHD medication. It supresses my feelings and fixes my focus at a particular "zoom level". So if I need to mix convergent and divergent thinging - like with math - I can't. Basically, I've noticed that with programming taking ADHD medication helped. But in retrospect, it helped because agile culture kind of sucks. I know this now because ever since I'm working as a data analyst, programming is more fun. I program as much as a software engineer but it's more fun. Why? Because no one tells me that I need to write perfect code, I get to decide that. No one tells me when or what to code, I get to decide that. No one tells me what business problems to solve with code, I get to decide that.
I've learned so much being a data analyst about what's good and bad with agile culture, it's insane. I am now much more firmly in the camp of that software engineers aren't programmers, they're consultants that are capable of solving business problems either manually or through automation (i.e. programming). Consultants in this sense are problem solvers, not people with slide decks that then leave.
I hope some of this helps.
One could say it's unhealthy and I need therapy but I'm already in therapy and I'm noticing that these things take a long time to tease out. Also, when it comes to potentially unhealthy behavior the question must be asked: what are you getting out of it? In my case, a life in which I function. Moreover, other than that I'm not stressed a lot.