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the one time I asked for this I actually got a detailed list of notes each of my interviewers had made, I found it very helpful

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That's the sort of thing I was hoping for. I genuinely want to improve my shortcomings. "Build up your weaknesses until they become your strong points." -- Knute Rockne

But even if they felt they could, they wouldn't really have much to say about your shortcomings, because... they're not you. They don't know anything about what makes you tick, or the path you took to get to where you are now. And they certainly don't know where you'll be in 10 or 15 years, regardless of their current impression of you (+ or -).

All they have is this fleeting impression of how you "performed" in this one weird, pretentious moment. Which doesn't have much to do with anything, really.

Their opinion matters in the sense that you can use some points that you probably agree with but do not notice as being an issue for others.

Yeah, that's my take, basically. Business, as well as casual social rejections are (important) data points to be processed. But in most cases, just not worth taking personally.

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