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Comment by cruzcampo | Hacker News Reader

It really does feel like most tech leaders are having an internal struggle that they externalize and make all of our problems.

Have you seen Musks Twitter timeline? That guy is so chronically online and desperate to be liked that it's just sad. How can you be the richest man in the world and yet so deeply pathetic?

Same with Zuck's attempt at being "cool" now and don't even get me started on Benioff's whole weird "Aloha" thing.

Deeply insecure, unhappy people, despite having all the wealth in the world. And they're gonna make sure all of us are just as unhappy, because if they can't buy happiness, why should anyone else have it?

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My theory is that it's the absurd wealth in the first place that makes these people completely unhinged.

Imagine you are in a situation where nobody you interact with will ever tell you something you don't want to hear. Everyone tries their best to only appease you and tell you that you are the best most brightest person. These people also all depend on your money for their own aspirations (that mysteriously never pan out).

It's basically the same thing that happens to dictators. They become unhinged. Their craziest ideas receive no pushback so they go ahead and implement every whim.

What they all need are good real friends, yet that's the one thing that's impossible for them to gain if they didn't already have it before they became rich.

And they are likely even aware of this dynamic which is why they view everyone in the world as being just in it for the money. So why not do everything in your power to horde more since that's what everyone else you interact with is doing?

What they all need are good real friends, yet that's the one thing that's impossible for them to gain if they didn't already have it before they became rich.

Even that isn’t a guarantee because friend dynamics often change with relative wealth disparities.

You probably need friends that are also very rich.

> You probably need friends that are also very rich.

So they’re left to just chase whose partner they can snag or whose yacht is bigger? Sounds delightful. You’d think therapy would be more capital efficient. The hedonic arena is a trap for the emotionally unsound and perpetually unfulfilled.

> Even that isn’t a guarantee because friend dynamics often change with relative wealth disparities.

> You probably need friends that are also very rich.

I don't disagree.

There's a Wendover youtube I recently watched that's tangentially about this [1]. Why do all the rich people have Yachts? His contention it's not because they like having big boats but rather because every other rich person does and that is your real social circle. If you don't fit in with them, you'll basically be friendless.

That also goes into why all rich people end up with private jets, because to interact with your social circle you basically have a packed calendar flying across the globe for rich people social events.

However, it's an insular group of people all subject to the same problem of generally being surrounded by yesmen. Further, it's not like these rich people aren't also trying to shmooze each other. Their businesses are still trying to make money and they often need to work with one another. So hard for these people to actually be friends.

[1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBNcYxHJPLE

> It really does feel like most tech leaders are having an internal struggle that they externalize and make all of our problems.

A lot of times people create problems and can't take responsibility for their own actions, so they blame externalities. That's what the author was saying about blaming DEI.

Insecurity is often (always?) the driver of achievement. Some sort of deep-seated pathology is basically required to build the empires they have.

I'm not sure that's true, but even if it is, it is a sort of bipolar mix insecurity with hope and excitement.

The mid-life crisis insecurity doesn't have the hope and the rush in the same way. It has a lot more dread and angst.

The realization that you achieved as much as one could hope to achieve and you still didn't find contentment.

That's honestly, to me, the saddest thing about the mega-rich. They don't know when, or how, to stop. There's no goal state where they can say "ok I made it, I can turn it off and enjoy life now, or at least stop fighting tooth and nail to hoard even more bigger numbers."

Competition, not insecurity drives achievement and people who are very competitive in one skill usually will lack a ton in most other skills.

For individuals, though, might competitiveness often be driven by insecurity, and the point stands?

Point is that competition is fueled by insecurity. If you are happy, truly content, with yourself you will find competing extraordinarily tiresome and unnecessary. Not saying it’s good for society by the way. I think our civilization needs the pathologically insecure to be disruptive and create room for innovation. Related traits are narcissism and psychopathy. Painful, but useful, in small doses.

Musk, Altman, Bezos they are basically caricatures.

You're right about the individuals you're calling out, as well as some others, but I don't think it's fair to say "most" tech leaders.

It's just a few of the most troubled celebrity wealth-addicts making public the inherent ego-fragility that tends to drive addiction in the first place.

Meanwhile, there's still sooo many other tech leaders just trying to develop whatever vision they have for their business, industry, career, etc

Not all tech or business leaders are addicts, but some are, and as a society we tend to enable and even celebrate their addiction for whatever reason. Because of that, and because of power that comes with wealth, some of them wreak havoc as they use that power to manifest their very deep troubles in the public sphere.

And it's not a new phenemonom, nor particular to the tech industry. You can see it happen again and again and again throughout history.

> Benioff's whole weird "Aloha" thing

I'll defend Benioff here, a little. The O'hana thing isn't a new, desperate COVID-fried-divorced-billionaire invention; it dates, I believe, from the establishment of Salesforce, decades ago. I think it was sincere at the time.

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