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Comment by ryandrake | Hacker News Reader

That's right. The whole "He is under no obligation to [do nice thing | be social | act friendly]" is a very Reddit attitude. Yes, it's technically correct: You don't have to be nice. But you are allowed to be nice, and that choice doesn't hurt or cost anything.

If you go up to a fellow parent and say, "Hey, nice to see you again." and they just ignore you scrolling their phones, sure, they have a Constitutional right to do that and are under no obligation to return the greeting. But going through life only doing what you are "obligated" to do seems like a very miserable and anti-social way to live.

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> "He is under no obligation to [do nice thing | be social | act friendly]" is a very Reddit attitude

It's also a very Hacker News attitude, as you are witnessing in this thread.

I don't understand why people HN talk down about Reddit so much when it's really no better here, either.

I wonder if someone will try to put a monetary value on socializing lower in this thread...

Right, this reminds me of the threads around here on teleworking vs working in-office.

Once someone points out that they like going to the office because they get to socialize with co-workers, the replies typically sound like ‘don’t care, I’m not paid to socialize but to do my job’

While I understand the context can vary, it always struck me as an anti-social behavior.

We (most of us) live in a society. Therefore we are obligated to be social.

If you don’t want to be social go live in a cabin out in the woods.

You are not being nice of social here. When you care only about what you can get from the interaction while villyfying them for not providing it, your interest is inherently selfish.

> But you are allowed to be nice, and that choice doesn't hurt or cost anything.

Obviously this doesn't apply to everyone, but as someone who suffers from social anxiety, talking to someone I don't know very well absolutely does cost me.

That said, I do try to be nice despite the anxiety it causes me, and if someone came up to me and said something to me I probably would respond. But I certainly wouldn't go approach someone else.

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