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Comment by MortyWaves | Hacker News Reader

I’ve been trying to make friends, it’s hard as an introvert. Tried a few times online to meet a wider group of people but as per other comments here people often “ghost” or don’t return the effort I’ve tried to put in.

I absolutely feel moving around as a child a dozen times meant I never formed any lasting friendships from schools, which then had knock on effects in college, and then university.

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For me, as a non-introvert, I had to come to the realization that most people just won’t reciprocate at a level I want. That you just have to make the stuff happen that you want to happen. So, you really can’t wait for people to reach out to you. If you want to spend time with someone or if you want to have a group outing you just have to be the one to do it. It’s kinda like any club Ive been a part in. There’s usually a few people that drive things, organize, etc and most freeload off that. Your friendships will be like that too. You might find another driver and that’s great! But it won’t be the case most of the time. And it won’t be because people don’t want to do things, it’s just how people are. I wouldn’t take offense. Just think they aren’t gonna be the vice president of your friend club and they’ll just be a member and that’s okay too. Y’all still have a good time.

Whats else everyone else doing then though. Ive experienced the same thing, it seems like no one actually organizes anything or initiates. Majority of people just sit at home or something?

Screen time is addictive.

Growing up, it seemed the kids that moved a lot, aka military brats, were often good at finding new friends. More practice I assumed.

I'm in the same boat, friend. Being exposed to so much has its upsides but ability to make lasting relationships is not one of them.

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