Like Peter, I do recommend talking to someone about this. You don't sound content, and life is too short to miss out on the journey.

I say this as someone who earns much less than you (never mind 800k), and who didn't go to a top school.

I'm no psychiatrist but your posts suggests that you see yourself as a failure, or possibly you've gotten that feedback from others directly. Perhaps at Amazon or elsewhere.

Projecting that feeling onto others suggests you would really benefit from talking to a professional about this.

I don't think you're a failure, I don't know you. But from what little you've revealed I'd say you're not a failure. But perhaps you had your own goals you failed to achieve?