I don't like traveling anymore

After 35, you don't like traveling but boy do you like 'Vacationing'.

Author is right, after you travel (and slum it a bit) you realize that after surface level cultural/food/history differences everyone kinda/sorta wants similar things in life and while people's life stories are interesting, you start noticing patterns.

OTOH, (Caveat:I don't have enough money for this) there is nothing that recharges you more than first class tickets somewhere beautiful and getting pampered in a resort. People (esp in their 20's) poo poo this. Rightly so, you should be experiencing the "real culture". But me, I've done that already, I'm gonna sit in the Four Seasons.

P.S: Another thing I'd suggest the author try is fitness trips! Big Hikes, marathons, surfing competitions? Nothing speedruns cultural competency like doing a really difficult thing somewhere new. Get Travel insurance.

There’s a weird gap in the modern world when it comes to travel, which is traveling as a group / society. In the distant past it was very common for entire societies to be nomadic. You’d have both your friends and family + movement around the globe.

On the other hand, the solo traveler is a recent phenomenon largely enabled by 20th century technology and political developments.

I know there are programs which travel the world as a group, but they tend to be very ends-focused (“startup travelers”) etc.

So, the era of time when the Earth had open, undefined spaces (“smooth space” as defined by the philosopher Deleuze) seems to be basically over forever, barring an apocalyptic event. We might have to wait for new planets to see nomadic societies existing again.

Your story made me feel less alone.

I used to love traveling too. I would go to many places, meet new people, try new foods, and see pretty things. It made me happy and helped me learn a lot.

But then, like you, I stayed home more. I moved to a small town. Life became slow but nice. I made new friends, grew plants, cooked food, and played games. I started to feel happy without going far.

I liked how you said, “the connection to people not being punctuated by an impending departure.” That means a lot. When we stay, we make deep friendships that last.

Maybe one day we will travel again. But right now, this calm, quiet life feels good. Maybe this is a new kind of adventure.

Thank you. You helped me understand my own feelings better.

Welcome, I hope you have a good time. You don't hear about Kazakhstan here every day, and rarely in a positive light.

If anyone else comes to Kazakhstan and wants to see "the real country", I'd humbly suggest looking outside the two largest cities because they're the only places that have seen any development over the past three decades. My city hasn't changed at all since the end of the 1980s, you look at the photographs from that era and the only difference you see are significantly increased numbers of cars. That's pretty typical.

If you ever wonder why some people have a nostalgia for the Soviet Union — that's why, all significant infrastructure was built back then and hasn't been touched since. The Chinese have been pouring some money into infrastructure for the past few years (mostly power plants and railroads), but the volume is incomparable with ye olde days since they are doing it across the globe and don't have infinite money.

Some of our "patriots" become aggressive when you mention this, so you might want to keep it in mind.

A commenter down below called us "a third-world country", and while that's silly (pretty much only because we're "second world" by definition), it's only fair.

I’m not sure if it’s Covid or just entering my 30s, but both I and many of my friends have noticed a similar shift. We used to love the idea of traveling the world and meeting new people, and while we still do that to an extent, the excitement of backpacking around the globe and going to off-beat places isn't there anymore.

However, it doesn’t bother me. The idea of constant travel can feel a bit forced, because Western society emphasises it so much as a way to feel fulfilled. But, happiness and fulfillment exists in a thousand other things. Isaac Asimov, for example, spent most of his life in a New York apartment, writing articles, books, and letters. He loved it so much that the first thing he did after coming home from heart surgery was to rush towards his typewriter. He disliked being distracted from writing so much that he wasn't even willing to travel to Hollywood to get his novels adapted.

So, while travelling occasionally is enriching and helps me mentally, I am okay with the idea of just sitting at home and working on my projects, being excited about programming, writing, and learning.

I’ve grown older, but I don’t think I’ll ever stop traveling. There’s something enriching about setting out alone, discovering new places, and connecting with people but not just on the surface. Before I go somewhere, I take the time to learn about its history, its society, its ways. That way, when I meet someone, there’s a chance for real connection, not just polite small talk. Because if you only skim the surface, everything can seem familiar,sometimes even too Westernized once u look closer, the uniqueness reveals itself.

There’s also something powerful in returning to a place after many years. When you see how it’s changed, you might begin to understand how societies grow, shift, and evolve. And in doing so, you also begin to see your own world more clearly how it too has changed, often in ways you might not notice from inside your everyday bubble.

Different societies don’t just look different they understand the world differently. And sometimes that can be painful to confront. In Western cultures, individualism often makes it seem logical to live and work far from family, sometimes because your hometown couldn’t offer things. But maybe that wasn’t a failure of the system, maybe that was the system. One that only works when social bonds are weakened, everyones reflexes on human connection and personal sacrifice (grinding) is normalized.

Now, we live in a world where people struggle to understand how others think, vote, feel. A village in Uzbekistan, a town in Sicily, a city in the Midwest, or a neighborhood in New York they’re worlds apart, thats is very very obvious. I’ve been to many of these places, sometimes twice, and they’re not the same planet. And they’re drifting further apart.

But this isn’t new. The ancient Athenians were explorers, traders, thinkers, learners. They brought ideas home and reshaped their world. Yet, with time, even they began to say, "This is how it’s always been. Things are the same" They were resistant to understand the underlying mechanisms, as the world around them shifted. Their knowledge came through a lens that blinded them to the reasons of transformation. And eventually, their dominance faded suddenly and decisively driven by the same forces they could no longer truly understand.

It’s a pattern worth remembering. Because maybe, just maybe, we’re living through something similar today. Seeling the world is an enabler for effective introspection. I avoid the touristy places though, they feel like crowded movie sets.

Some of this is "with age comes wisdom" but some of this is ageless. I travelled extensively for work before covid for over 20 years and thought I'd welcome it back post covid but I now find it a mixed blessing. Perhaps I'm half way down the ladder the OP has climbed off.

When you're younger, travel feels like expansion, like leveling up your soul. But over time, especially when you build a life with real depth and connection, the appeal of fleeting experiences starts to fade. You’re not just collecting memories anymore - you're living them.

I love traveling, but rarely alone, and always with a purpose. I find aimless traveling just for the sake of saying I've been somewhere more exhausting than exhilarating. If I'm going to the Netherlands it's to visit some ancestral villages. If I'm going to Japan it's because I have a deep fascination with Kabuki and Noh. But I too love having a place to call home, with people in my community who are familiar with me.

Tourism has been in an absolute bubble since the 1990s . The social media turbocharged this , creating a literal rat race where travel became almost 'work' in search of the perfect selfie.

Do you think we might be seeing this bubble bursting now ?

I enjoy traveling a lot. Specifically traveling. Not arriving and staying somewhere, not vacationing, not sight seeing. Traveling has always been a fun experience to me. The road trip, the adventure part of a vacation. Spend a day or two to drive as far as possible, stop by places to rest and relax, then get back to it. Find an interesting road, where does that lead? People dismiss the adventure of traveling and just rush to the destination. Like quick travel in a game, if you walk to the destination, sometimes you find cool stuff, sometimes not, and sometimes you distract and detour so hard that you end up with a new destination instead. I don't consider flying to be traveling though, it's just flying to me, a rush of getting to a destination.

My traveling taught me that people are the same everywhere, but now that I know that, I no longer want to to travel just travel.

It’s more of a reminder of that

I don't go to big resorts by myself. But when I travel, it's to finally meet discord friends, or to meet them again. That means also hosting friends from abroad, which absolutely feels like vacation on its own.

It helps to look at where & why the author has settled: thanks to tech like Zoom (that really came into its own around Covid) one can be physically settled in a place and also participate in global markets and global conversations.

Good for fomo and good for anyone looking to design a life; why not live in a place that enriches your body! Wherever you live, you can now find work that connects and enriches your mind. Your designed life provides so much of what you seek from travel but also community: getting to say hello to the same people each day for years.

Reads like an extended humble brag. Not much substance here.

Every year, I go on a long winter solo trip. Some trips were incredible, and others felt exactly like what you describe.

The main reason is that I'm leaving a rich home life and quickly miss my people and the things we do together. Every other night a new place and a new hotel room, and a meal alone in a crowd. It feels weird to leave home specifically to get so uncomfortable. The opportunity cost grows, because my roots grow deeper every year.

I'm currently on one of these trips. The last ones felt exactly like what you described, so for this one, I went back to the drawing board.

This time, I dotted the solo journey with people I know. I meet with friends in different places every 7-10 days.

I also slowed waaaay down. This is a motorcycle trip, but I only average 100 km per day. I now have time to linger in cafés. I can read, sketch, or just work for a few hours. I can take the slow, twisty roads across national parks and avoid highways completely. The ride is shorter so I arrive refreshed.

It worked. This is one of the best trip I've taken in years. Above all, it's the first motorcycle trip I consider successful since 2019.

I feel similarly about where I live now, but don't come to quite the same feelings about travel, just different feelings than I used to. For me, the grass was literally greener in nearly every different place compared to where I lived until I moved. My hometown was and is truly a shithole, it actively discourages every quality that the author describes and that I get in Vancouver; it's not impossible to develop, but it's rarer than it should be, assuming you'd be willing to put in the same amount of effort and have enough patience anyway. Travel had a different feeling when I felt that people in different places were fundamentally different, which led to a certain kind of extra novelty. Likewise, travel brought different feelings when I was more confused upon landing (which the author eludes to) or couldn't communicate, or could fantasize about one day living in the place as a dream. But.. I did, I moved, and developed a much more interesting and valuable life than I could have otherwise, and now I don't glamorize some of those other places quite like I used to. I have zero interest in moving away from where I do, those other places aren't competitive in the ways they'd need to be for me. That said, I do still value the exploration of discomfort and the adventure it would be to re-establish a third life somewhere new, because I don't really know how it would go, and that's still invigorating in a way that I couldn't have imagined when I was much younger. It's just that nearly none of those places would compete, I already love my day to day environment; that sort of move would be an intimidating leap despite not looking for anything better. That said, I'm fortunate that I've managed to build something for myself in a city that does compete favorably. I go to other "world class" cities, and it's very hard to find better food, better scenery, or really anything else that I don't already have access to. I'd need to go to more low key rural areas, and I'm excited about that.

There’s this sort of malaise that took over when Bourdain died which burst the idea that travel was in some way healing or reparative. It can be, but it can also widen the gap between you and the world.

For me what I got out of travel was just being able to experience the “normalcy” of other countries, peoples, cultures. There was this romantic notion that I’d learn something really important about humanity or my place on the earth - all those thoughts in some way seem to exist on a more “conceptual” emotional depth, where you are experiencing and touring, rather than participating. Staying places allows more time for depth than going with the idea that you’ll be moving on.

The whole “digital nomad” trend, while like in a way laudable as a truly neat that it’s possible effect of globalization, still carries a sort of colonial, exchange-rate-maxxing exploitative vibe. It’s playing rich, in a way.

Still, it’s a big world, and it’s good if you can to experience some of it.

Your experience with travel resonates. It opens one's perspective early on, but then it kind of gets dull over time. And after a while, travel is mostly an avenue to have good memories with friends and family, relax, indulge in local cuisines/culture, and enjoy the beautiful nature.

And the topic of whether wanting to travel will motivate one to make more money is a topic for a different thread altogether. It's probably difficult to bring that drive if one doesn't have it.

P.S. You forgot to post the Gokarna June '22 pics in your photo album. It took me a minute to realize it was you only after reading that you moved to Goa and seeing your Goa flat pic.

I'm the same age as the author. I've been feeling exactly the same. I feel like in the past there was something magical about travelling. It was like seeing a different world for the first time. Everything was exciting and I noticed every little aspect of the place such as license plates, trash bins, road signs. I still notice those things but I can't help but notice that that feeling of awe is gone. I've been attributing this to age, but who knows, maybe the world is becoming less diverse?

Author mentions traveling means making 'much' money. I understand then why it might become a chore.

Also, some in their 30ies develop the urge to found a family and settle down.

Offtopic as it's not from the linked blog post, but this had me laughing:

> Today was my first day at this stealth startup. The boss (CEO) is a dick, but we’re building great stuff. The physical entertainment/tourism industry is a huge market, and it’s very possible that we’re going to be the next Disneyworld.

Traveling to big cities certainly loses its appeal after a while. Nowadays, I tend to prefer little adventures involving nature/sport.

I have always despised travel, possibly as a result of being moved around a lot as a child.

I do not care for a single facet of it. Not the planning, or the reservations, of the attaining of paperwork. Packing or parking. Checking maps to see where my terminal might be. Pre-flight fondling by total strangers. Getting on a plane. Being on a plane. Getting off of a plane. Trying to find my way to wherever it is I am supposed to go, which I know in theory but must now execute. I also have a mild handicap which can make navigating some situations more difficult than it would otherwise be for someone normal. Seeing just kind of torture the word "breakfast" has undergone to appear in the hotel at morning.

Then there is the thing itself, whatever it is you are supposed to be seeing. Chances are, you won't even be able to get close to it. Apparently, you get to look at the Mona Lisa from something of a distance, and now less than a minute. Oooh. Then you should get a laminated card that says "Some photons bounced off of the Mona Lisa and were absorbed by my retina" so you can tell everyone.

And you're trapped wherever it is until your ticket home is valid.

Even if someone else is paying for it, I just have zero interest. Unfortunately, some friends have gotten into cruises and traveling, which leads to frequent exhortation that I, too, should travel, no matter how much I demur. Being pushed for travel was also an irritant at a previous job.

They say, "Well, think of all of the strange foods and new restaurants!" I spend more time at the international markets than most and, honestly, this city has plenty of restaurants I have yet to try, so if that were a motivating factor, I hardly need a plane ticket and itinerary to partake.

The furthest I have gone is about three hundred miles to take a close friend (he had a very terrible year of one disaster after another occur to him) to a concert to cheer him up.

The experience of the author is 100% similar to mine with the same conclusions and with the same age brackets it's eerie.

that post gives similar feelings as the song Caledonia by Dougie MacLean

They mention a few times that they travel with the intent of making money. That’s the root of the problem.

I wouldn’t like traveling anymore either if I did it mainly to make money. Oops.

Dude, I feel you picked places in similar styles. You are looking for a specific lifestyle that you are mostly comfortable with. You should consider building these elements around a place where you'd like to call your home.

"Right now, I am writing this essay from the living room of my hostel in Almaty, Kazakhstan."

Breaking news: Hostels in third world countries loose their charm as you get older.

the hype of indepedence is in your early 20s then after a few travels its boring

Thoughtfully essay, but writing this at age 29-30 feels kind of like a five year old telling me they don’t like Spinach

-this is still too early in life to come to hard realizations on experienced wisdom..

give it some time and tell me about it again in your 50s -