For most apps, the answer is usually "use a database" that correctly saves data.
I'm curious as to what issues you might be alluding to!
Nix (and I recently adopted deploy-rs to ensure I keep SSH access across upgrades for rolling back or other troubleshooting) makes experimenting really just a breeze! Rolling back to a working environment becomes trivial, which frees you up to just try stuff. Plus things are reproducible so you can try something with a different set of machines before going to "prod" if you want.
I haven't needed to tune selfhosted databases. They do fine for low load on cheap hardware from 10 years ago.
So, if you're using filesystem snapshots as source of backups for database, then I agree, you _should_ be good. the regular pgdumps is a workaround for other cases for me.
I remember spending time on this as a teenager but I haven't touched my MariaDB config in a decade now probably. Ah no, one time a few years ago I turned off fsyncing temporarily to do a huge batch of insertions (helped a lot with qps, especially on the HDD I used at the time), but that's not something to leave permanently enabled so not really tuning it for production use
Iirc default shared_mem is 128MB and it's usually recommended to set to 50-75% system RAM.
Bitnami PostgreSQL Helm chart - https://github.com/bitnami/charts/tree/main/bitnami/postgres...
Not sure on "easy" backups besides just running pg_dump on a cron but it's not very space efficient (each backup is a full backup, there's no incremental)