I don't think that its not achievable either. I think that LINQtoSQL and EntityFramework are the best implementation of database access that exists today. Import the database/table select over it with 95% assurance that the query will work at runtime and with the correct types. I really wish something like this existed in the Java world as I would switch in a heartbeat.
For the record I code C# mostly in my day job, but every time I move over to PHP/Java/Scala I miss LINQ. I am working with Play! at the moment and while the DB access is the best I have come across in the Java world, its still not at the same standard. I am still getting issues with simple selects where I should be using a Long rather then an Int.