>That assumes the dark forest wouldn't kill us anyway, just to be safe.
It doesn't. It assumes that the likelihood of the dark forest killing us increases with the size of the target we present. That likelihood is never zero. It's probably at least 50/50.
>A large number of free-floating fusion-powered colonies, gradually expanding through the Oort cloud and then to other star systems, would be quite a bit more difficult to destroy.
Unless we're assuming some kind of magitech, it would probably take thousands of years or longer to establish more than a few colonies (particularly interstellar colonies) and because there's no stealth in space, it would be obvious to anyone watching. Difficult to destroy is relative to time, resources and effort.
>If a civilization detects us from a distance of 100 light years, then we'll have two hundred years of technological advancement and further expansion by the time they hit us.
I'm assuming any civilization capable of successfully attacking us from that distance is sufficiently advanced that 200 years of relative technological development isn't going to matter. And if it does, why would that stop them? If they've already committed to exterminating any advanced species they detect, the risk of retaliation is implied. It's us or them either way.