Just a suggestion: if your goal is to convince the average Joe why DNA privacy is a concern, and you solely refer to the police multiple times as "pigs", you're not going to persuade many people.
At the moment pigs can break the law and abuse their authority any way they please with barely any chance of getting even a slap on the wrist - and even if they kill someone, chances are high they'll either get off entirely on "reasonable fear" or they'll get pardoned.
Again, if your goal is to convince people (or at least have a constructive dialogue) why they should care about genetic privacy, all you have done for your average person is convince them even more that your opinion should be discounted.