>What I would like is a CPU with a highly parallel array of "worker cores" all addressing the same memory and speaking the same goddamn language that the CPU does.

For "embarrassingly parallel" jobs vector extensions start to eat tiny bits of the GPU pie.

Unfortunately, just slapping thousands of cores works poorly in practice. You quickly get into the synchronization wall caused by unified memory. GPUs cleverly work around this issue by using numerous tricks often hidden behind extremely complex drivers (IIRC CUDA exposes some of this complexity).

The future may be in a more explicit NUMA, i.e. in the "network of cores". Such hardware would expose a lot of cores with their own private memory (explicit caches, if you will) and you would need to explicitly transact with the bigger global memory. But, unfortunately, programming for such hardware would be much harder (especially if code has to be universal enough to target different specs), so I don't have high hopes for such paradigm to become massively popular.