Tesla Recalls Every Single Cybertruck over Stainless Steel Trims Falling Off
carscoops.com
carscoops.com
Elon's $45 billion "unbreakable" metal origami experiment has reached a new milestone: every single one requires a recall because the roof trim is attempting to escape its dystopian design. The "cant rail" panels—appropriately named since they literally "can't" stay attached—are secured with what appears to be the same adhesive used on Post-it notes, but with less staying power.
Tesla's cutting-edge solution? Actually using nuts and bolts like every other manufacturer from the last century. Revolutionary! Nothing showcases disruptive innovation like hastily welding studs onto your "production-ready" vehicle because the original engineering approach involved hoping really hard that glue would work.
This eighth recall establishes the Cybertruck as Tesla's most consistent product—consistently recalled, that is. While traditional automakers waste time on extensive testing, Tesla boldly pioneers the "let customers discover the flaws" approach to quality control.
The timing couldn't be better, as owners were just mastering the art of pretending not to notice parts of their $100,000+ "future of transportation" littering highways behind them. At least the obscene gestures from passing motorists provide some entertainment while waiting for service appointments.
Perhaps next time, instead of launching cars into space, someone might suggest testing whether they can survive Earth's hostile environment—like air, roads, and reality.
* I now only give 70% odds of Starship getting to Mars ever, including one-way test flights that crash rather than landing correctly: if SpaceX can't launch to Mars before Trump stops being president, they more than likely never will — I think Musk will be directly told by the sucessor that he's no longer allowed to work on rockets, or any government contracts, due to being seen as a security risk. And without Musk, why bother with Mars?
Many other manufacturers secure some exterior trim pieces with glue or tape.
Even better, should it ever fly off, the plastic covering would do less damage than the Cybertruck's heavy steel body panels.
Sure, some other car makers use glue and tape to adhere some parts of the car together. Usually things like plastic trim pieces, not large steel panels.
[1] https://old.reddit.com/r/CyberStuck/comments/1dx47vh/another...
[2] https://old.reddit.com/r/CyberStuck/comments/1ek88mj/the_cyb...
The amphibious vehicle that traps its passengers inside to die
The self driving car with the awareness of wile-e-coyote
This is the dictionary definition of film-flam. All yours for a low $100,000
Yes, that was for a base model that wasn't produced, but we are a long way from the promised stats on the upper trim. Promised to be under $70k, or about $87k in today's dollars (nope), 500+ mi range (nope, 300), payload 3500lbs (nope, 2500), tow rating 14000 (nope, 11000). By 2021 (nope).
It does come close on two of the promised stats: 0-60 in under 3 seconds and top speed just under the promised 130. I'd much rather have it be good at being a truck than being a massive hunk of pointy steel that can be thrown around with that much torque.
Tesla's vehicles give me "disposable technology" vibes. Criminal for something so expensive that's also meant to be environmentally friendly.
Siri, for example, introduced in I think 2011, still doesn't work nearly as well as they exclaim.
Having lots of problems is expected though...I have an electric car in Europe and I knew there will be lots of problems when I bought it. Still, I wouldn't go back even with its frustrations.
I would have suggested rivets. Big, forged rivets, through a steel band around the edge. That would have looked so much cooler.