I joined several discords, some of significant size, but I just cannot understand how to start/join a conversation. I just see silence or some random Q&A that dies within a few rounds of back and forth.

I really wanna do some goofy chatting and socialize online in real time, but I must be doing it wrong because it seems like nobody's there. I also tried IRC (went in for the first time in 20 years?!), same story there. Probably I am the problem, but any suggestions?