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> If I want to go meet a friend for a drink or food, I have to lug around a backpack, keep an eye on it to make sure it's not stolen. If I wanted to have a beer or wine, I can't because I may need to work at any point.

If this is a stated requirement from your employer, talk to a lawyer. This is a common litmus test for whether you need to be paid while on call, even if you aren't actively working. Depending on the jurisdiction you may be entitled to pay (or trigger a relaxation of your company's policies).

Does that apply to salaried/FLSA-exempt workers?

Depends on the jurisdiction, talk to a lawyer to find out.

I use my pocket computer if something comes up. It's not nearly as pleasant to use, granted, but way more pleasant than carrying a laptop everywhere. But I also wouldn't hesitate to have a beer if the desire arose. Perhaps I'm just not as committed to my work as you.

> If I wanted to have a beer or wine, I can't because I may need to work at any point.

One beer or glass of wine renders you incapable? I'd be totally comfortable having 1-2 drinks on call.