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Comment by citizenpaul | Hacker News Reader

Being a very health conscious person I've always had issues with these types of events. Why do these types of events always have to focus on the most unhealthy possible choice for everything? I'm asking a real question, to me it simply makes sense not to indulge in frequent unhealthy behavior but no one else ever seems interested. Is there anyway to redirect these types of events that others have seen work?

You may say just don't consume the "thing" which I do but it has an unfortunate side effect. It actually tends to alienate you from the other people participating. The entire thing becomes about "why are you not eating". In the end I just avoid the awkward situation by not going/participating.

I love the idea but why does it have to rotate around slowly killing ourselves?

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As someone who doesn't drink alcohol, I get what you're saying. But I also don't judge others for indulging and similarly don't let how I want to live my life get in the way of attending group events. At bars I order sparkling waters, soda, or a non-alcoholic cocktail and don't make a big deal out of it and it hasn't failed me yet :)

I do the same thing however it is still a burden on yourself for no reason other than people don't like "dissenters"

I'd rather focus on hanging out than hiding what I'm doing. There envititable are the "shots" people. (Yeah spit them in your fake drink, or over the shoulder) Its all a bunch of work to pretend to "Fit in" over a very absurd rejection of my harmless preferences.

Well the comments have basically answered my question. For the most part rather than bring up alternatives everyone is criticizing me for not conforming. I guess I have my answer, go with the herd or be ostracized. Which has been my exp.

You're actually being a massive asshole about it, which is why you're being ostracized.

If you weren't condescending to people that enjoy donuts, maybe you'd get a warmer response.

I'm not trying to be mean to you or "dunk" on you or whatever, I'm legitimately trying to explain why people are reacting to you the way they are.

Nah man he's right.

Even if he was, being correct wouldn’t make the condescension cool.

I did not read it as condecending. I read it as someone who's frustrated.

the unhealthy food is basically a bribe to show up, isn't it? so you'd need a replacement for that if it's not going to be a tasty food.

I've seen some that just do coffee which is pretty reasonable health impact to me

Please remember that you are slowly dying anyways. You can have a donut every now and then.

It won't kill you. (Unless you choke on it)

i don’t think a donut a week is that ridiculous if you’re doing a moderate amount of exercise and or have an otherwise balanced diet?

otherwise why not suggest something different if it’s your turn to host? bagels? coffee? catering for lunch?

We need a fedicodonut events, where everybody walks to the shop, then skip and buy water and a kiwi.

You make it happen. Someone has to.

My question was "that works" I've tried but no one wants to come to a free healthy food gathering for the most part. Also you essentially cause a "competing rift" against the donuts crowd. Hence seeking advice from HN, apparently fruitlessly.

Well, if nobody shows up at your celery sticks meetup, I think you've answered your question as to why it's donuts.

Just offering alternatives seems to solve most of that issue. I've got some friends who are vegetarian, so whenever they come over, I just grab some vegan sausages or some vegetarian alternative to what I'm making. It's not a ton more work, and everyone gets to participate.

The idea that "eating a donut" == "slowly killing oneself" is very silly to me. People get donuts because people like donuts. If you don't like donuts thats fine. But most people like donuts and don't think of it as "I am committing suicide by doing this". TLDR chill

What if I have diabetes?

Also I was generalizing but it is also very popular to have these events be a drinking thing. That really is slowly killing yourself. Though I do believe that the social benefits could outweigh the minor health hit.

One of the main things about a healthy lifestyle is abstaining from tempting food with little or zero nutritional value. Letting it creep in once in a while is breaking the mentality you have created to maintain that diet.

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