Cambodia used to be American leaning in the 2010s during their transition to democracy, with support for democratic norm building and actual democracy. China on the other hand decided to only conduct outreach to Cambodian economic and political elite [0]
The US government funded social infrastructure like health clinics, schools, and sanitation systems, but the Chinese government funded hard infra projects like canals, highways, energy systems, and weaponry without human rights oversight [0].
When Cambodia decided to end their democratic experiment, the US condemned it, but the Chinese government was indifferent. And now Cambodia has solidly shifted to the Chinese sphere of influence.
This story has repeated all across ASEAN from Thailand to Malaysia to Indonesia.
The reality is it's only the economic, military, and poltical decisionmakers that matter, and if you needle them too much, they will try to find alternatives or build their own strategic autonomy.
France did the same thing in the De Gaulle era for the exact same reasons (military regime that didn't like getting needled about democratic backsliding).
> then why would any country which does care want to create long-term relationships or otherwise ally themselves with you
Cold hard cash, weapons, and legitimacy. Which is what ASEAN countries have begun to do by shifting closer towards China. They don't want or need lectures - they want to maintain their own power.
Notice how Europe has grown silent about Turkish democratic decline now that European nations require Turkish support to stabilize Ukraine. And if PiS wins the Polish elections, you won't hear similar complaints about "democratic backsliding" compared to the PiS barely 3 years ago. When push comes to shove, values don't matter much.
In an era where great power politics has returned, values matter less than hard power.
[0] - https://www.iseas.edu.sg/articles-commentaries/iseas-perspec...