I may be missing some of your sarcasm, but "Gila Monster's venom" meets the strictest definition of natural.
When really, just being 'natural', doesn't mean anything really. There are poisons that are 'natural'.
Like resveratrol. Yes, it is natural and its in wine. But you need to drink many gallons a day to get enough to do anything. But people see 'Natural' and wine, and think it is a license to drink a lot.