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Comment by rachofsunshine | Hacker News Reader

I think it's fair to say that there is a subset of people for whom this kind of thing does border on obsession. By analogy, it's normal to care about your weight, but it's still possible for that normal concern to become an anxious obsession that gets blown way out of proportion.

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In the modern world, I don't see how one can be obsessed about such a thing...

Do a DNA test, get answer. Obsession over.

>In the modern world, I don't see how one can be obsessed about such a thing...

Theres no obsession here, the author was being needlessly hyperbolical to twist the narrative as if the normal behavior of thinking about paternity makes one "obsessive". The way he phrased it makes it sound like it's normal for the paternal side not to care if he's raising his own kin or not.

>Do a DNA test, get answer. Obsession over.

DAN tests without your partner's consent or a court order, are not legal in several countries, like France for example. So you might never know if your partner doesn't want you to know or you don't have proof of adultery to show the court.

Those who would be obsessed would totally grab a bit of hair and mail it off to some country where such things are legal and get the answer in an email...

Of course you can, but how many courts will side with you based on unlawfully obtained evidence?

At least if you turn out to be the father you can put the issue to rest. If not, you can pursue parallel construction somehow.

> DAN tests without your partner's consent or a court order, are not legal in several countries, like France for example.

I want to know the rationale behind this but I'm quite sure it's some "but think of the kiiids" catholic rhetoric.

It is. But obviously people do it anyway:

https://www.irishtimes.com/news/french-men-s-insecurity-over...

The only problem is, after you've done it, and it turns out the child is not yours, you have two problems.

> In France, a country where infidelity is more often regarded as pleasure than sin, the percentage may be higher.

No wonder France decided to ban the tests

EU freedom of speech attitude in a nutshell: when the truth is uncomfortable, you just ban it. Problem solved.

The rationale is that apparently due to rampant adultery a lot more fathers than previously thought are raising another man's kids without knowing it (apparently about 10% last time I read about it, also on HN) and since raising kids to adulthood is very expensive and so if the men could easily find out their kids are not their own, then the man can legally opt-out of that financial responsibility then the French state/taxpayer has to pick up the tab for the mother's adultery.

So if you make it nearly impossible for men to ever find out, they'll be legally bound to pay for the upbringing of whoever their partner gives birth to, reducing the financial liability of the state.

But the official reason from the state is something along the lines of "we don't want to put kids/families through unnecessary stress". Basically men have to be cash cows regardless.

> then the French state/taxpayer has to pick up the tab for the mother's adultery

Why not the biological father? That would make sense.

How would the state force the mother to track down the men she slept with and get them to do paternity tests to prove they're the ones responsible to pay child support? Sometimes the father can be from a different country.

In theory, yes. In practice, it would mean finding and forcing all potential fathers to do the tests. Hard to imagine anyone would agree to that.

> In the modern world, I don't see how one can be obsessed about such a thing...

The version of this I've seen most often has been certain Very Online groups who are convinced that if they have kids they'll turn out to secretly be someone else's.

They can't test that hypothesis because it's directly interfering with the conditions that would enable them to test it.

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