I am more worried about confiscation from government or money that can be stolen or lost.
Is there any crypto currency that cannot be stolen by third-party and only myself is able to access/transfer?
Bitcoin is the only truly decentralised digital asset that governments can't control or stop.
You can self-custody it by keeping 12 words secret. You can even add multiple passphrases so that you can split the "keys" to your bitcoin across multiple locations with plausible deniability that the passphrases even exist.
The options are endless. You can store your 12-word mnemonic in the physical domain, and the passphrase(s) in the digital domain. You can even store it in your head if you like (12 short words are surprisingly easy to remember)
BTC is also a very poor choice to be used private and anonymous because every transactions is tracable forever by design, again unlike monero.
The node you connect to defines bitcoin, not the miners.
If you want to mine, you can do that with a single ASIC and join a pool. The main obstacle is finding free/cheap energy, and the beautiful thing about bitcoin is that demand-based price of said energy automatically repels miners from each other geographically.
This was demonstrated in the block-size wars.
You seem to be spinning in a circle
As for centralisation of mining - you're mistaking ASIC farms with mining pools. Miners can switch mining pools in milliseconds if a mining pool goes rogue.
There are all types of miners, those with a single ASIC miner to those that have a warehouse full. Its completely untrue that the only people who own ASICs are farms. Anyone can buy and run a single ASIC miner competitively if they have a source of cheap (i.e. unwanted) energy.
As I mentioned earlier, mining is inherently decentralised geographically, because as the demand for the cheap energy in any one location increases, so does its price. Miners are therefore effectively geographically repelled from one another.
Pools mean that groups of individual miners with just a small number of ASICs each, are creating hash-rates that compete with large companies who own vast swathes of ASICs.
It allows clear, reliable audit of the supply to detect any inflation bugs and acts as a Trojan horse into institutions that don't want an fully-anonymous asset.
Anonymity can be obtained if you really want it (non-KYC on/off ramps, conjoin etc), and is also provided on higher layers/networks like Lightning
If you believe Monero is superior, the market thinks otherwise: https://imgur.com/a/YfvuLWW
It's also not trivial to "deanonymize" bitcoin. Especially if it was acquired through non-KYC and/or takes steps to add privacy (such as conjoin or non-KYC on/off ramps).
So i just need to jump through dozens of hoops that maybe kind of work or just use a superior currency that does it all much better provable by default for much higher threat model?
Monero has a place - to increase the privacy of bitcoin when required. But I'd never store value in it for any length of time, I'd only use it temporarily.