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The upgrade to the M chips was shocking to me. My intel suddenly felt like it was defective.

Well, it was. Intel MacBooks had really crappy thermals, getting awfully hot and throttling at any hint of system load.

it always was. you people just gaslit yourselves into thinking it wasn't. intel macbooks were always pretty bad

You obviously have never used a PowerPC based Mac... Or else you would know that the inter macs were a massive leap forward.